Evil Spat Me Out

(Forgot to post this yesterday)

The evil became me and left me a husk after only a day. Milling around in a wave of frustration over the inadequacies and let downs of all that is Microsoft, I wail into the Aether to call upon the all seeing eye of Odin, the strength and lightning skills of Thor and the devious cunning of Loki to take my wrath out on them without getting caught. I am sure a mortal voice goes unheard but this was a dire need and they granted me some of what I asked. It just wasn't an all powerful super hunked out god like powers. It might have had the strength of a good sized fart, but that was the extent of it. I was bummed. Although, I took it in stride and ran with it.

After working a literal 18 hour day, going home working a bit more, kinda sleeping, and be back at work to do it over again, I was at my limit. Several reports had to be rewritten and prepped for a big meeting today. I had friends out on the net pulling information for me. I had people at work pulling their friends in on MS Excel problems and formulas. I'll admit, I am pretty good in MS Excel, but this just perplexed me. None, I repeat NONE, of my formulas were working. Simple ones, yes. but anything more then one to two arguments crapped out in a big way. Several people validated my formulas and work. All saying, it should work, but it did not. I tried everything from ensuring that the formats were exactly the same to the type of data.

I then asked one simple, itsy bitsy, apparently insignificant question: How is the source file created?

The woman answered, "Business Objects runs..."

I wanted to scream. I am not sure if this is across the board or just on our instance of BO, but any flat files that are created, tend to be in a way that hinders ANY logical knowledge or formula work. I walked back to my desk, copied the entire worksheet into Notepad and then back into MS Excel. ALL of the formulas that were left in the worksheet IMMEDIATELY populated.

With 28 minutes to the meeting, I still had nothing to show for my 70 hour work week. Amazingly, with a minute to spare, I got a working document up and running showing the direction that we were moving in, printed and sitting in the conference room prior to anyone else showing up. I used every ounce of the gift of gab and pulled a successful meeting out of my rear nether regions. So much, that it illicted a "Very good job" from management.

I still managed to get out of the office at 8 PM.

I need a life.

I need to get laid.